The one place where I learn to show up
She
was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs with her white paws dancing and
her black tail enthusiastically wagging because she knew what was about to
happen. A few minutes earlier I had heard the excited whimper that she couldn’t
contain because her well trained ears recognized the sound of the drawer
opening. When I opened it I wondered, as I usually do, Shall I wear the black
or the white running skorts today? Do I pair it with the gray or coral shirt?
All other drawers, when opened, fall on deaf ears, but this one, this one she
knows. She awaits the faint sound of the intimate embrace of my shoe-laces, and
of my wrist taken captive by its watchful judge. She can’t contain her
excitement. She knows. She always knows.
It
was that spring day on which we all heard the sound of the collective Texan sigh;
it was the first day that the devil woke up before the rest of us and began to
spread the sweltering, oppressive stench of deadly steam that he exhales when
he proudly yawns. It was the day we each had to decide: Do I face the hot demon
and learn to live along side him for the next few months, or do I lock myself
up in my cave and turn down the A/C as low as my pocket book allows me?
My
selfish wimpy self wanted to go to the gym, but Lizzy’s hopeful eyes and
excited leaps convinced me otherwise. I just didn’t have the heart to let her
down. I smiled, gave her an excited “Let’s
go!”- And we headed out the door, into the sweltering heat.
I
can’t even begin to tell you how many times I wanted to stay under my covers reading
my favorite book instead of giving into my youngest son’s pleas to read him a
chapter from his favorite book. It’s hard
to pick up the car keys and drive my oldest to soccer when what I really want
to do is send my exhausted husband instead. How many slow motion bicycle rides
have I endured in order to spend some quality time with my small ones in the
great outdoors? How many last pieces of
pie have I let go of? How many times did I have to give up the last sip of ice
cold water on a sizzling hot day?
Not enough.
Sometimes we just need to head out the door.
In the end, I may be hot, sweating, and nurturing a headache the size of hell
itself. But as soon as I’m done, close the door behind me, and feel the relief
of the welcoming cool air to relieve my salty, sweat-laden skin, not only am I
thankful that I had a good run, but so is my excited, and perhaps (I’d like to
think) even thankful, dog.
It is so hard sometimes to let go of my
selfish agenda in order to give joy to others. But most of the time I realize,
just as I did on that hot day as I delighted in Lizzy’s elation, that reading
to my boy till my throat is parched, watching my other improve his soccer
skills, riding my bike alongside the snail and giving up the last piece of pie
are totally worth it. There is no joy greater and more satisfying than enjoying
the pleasure of others.
Heading out the door is worth it.
It is time to get hot and delight in the
happiness of those I love.
