Do YOU want to be well?

Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. John 5:3-9

I read this story and ask myself the same question you are probably asking yourself. Why on earth would Jesus ask this poor sick man if he wants to get well? Do I? Do I? Are you kidding me?

Truth is, this story isn’t just about an invalid man that Jesus heals. This story is about me; this story is about you. And dear friends, Jesus is on to us.

At some point in time in our lives, to some extent or another, we have been blind, lame and mostly, or at the very least, feeling paralyzed. I know I have. We have all been emotionally wounded and left to lie near the pool at Bethesda. What takes you to these promising waters? A broken relationship? A troubled childhood? A devastating loss that you feel like you will never get over? A failure in life that you can’t let go of? An emotional “thorn” that won’t go away? We all have a story. We have all been lying there in our story for thirty-eight years, ten years, two months, completely impaired and devastated. Sometimes life seems hopeless and lonely, and although we lie in hope of a miracle, we seem unaware of the fact that Jesus sees us. He sees us, knows us, and will never, ever pass us by. We are so wrapped up in our pitiful selves that we don’t even realize that he is, indeed, asking us this very same question.

Do you want to be well?

Trouble is, even though we think it is a crazy- rhetorical at best- question, it actually is a very legitimate one.

Whatever being well means to you, will, most definitely, change your life. Do you think and truly believe that you are ready for that kind of change? Are you ready to be well? In this story, we don’t know how old this man actually is. We do know, however, that he has been there, in the same spot, every day, for the past 38 years! Once this man is healed, his life will never be the same. What will he do now? His life will no longer be about waiting for the waters to stir. What will it be about? Does he understand the implications of what will happen when it is no longer just him and his mat? Does he understand that he will have to go, put one foot in front of the other and make new decisions, breathe a different life, and do something new with his time? His life will now be consumed with new thoughts, new ideas and perceptions. His legs will take him to new places, places he has never gone to before. Will he know what to do? Will he know how to act? Will he know whom to talk to, and what to talk about?

What I find most fascinating about this story is not the fact that Jesus asks this man if he wants to be well (duh…) what is eye opening is the fact that the guy never really answers him! He immediately begins to give Jesus excuses and tries to justify himself for not being well already, as if it was up to him.

Somewhere deep within us, and I believe, deep within this man, we understand that perhaps we are ill prepared for what may lie ahead of us if this healing comes to fruition.

Are you sure you want that change? On the mat life is simple, predictable. We hold on to the hope that the waters will stir. Holding on to hope is safe; watching our hope come to life is scary. On the mat we have the freedom to blame others for our failures but when we are whole, we will be out of excuses.
You will no longer be the “Invalid at the pool” that just sits and waits. You will now be the healed woman that can walk! Are you ready to walk?

How many times do we ask for healing? How many times do we ask for the thorn to be removed? How many times do we wonder what our life would be like if only…? but then the healer sees us and asks us this question.

Do you want to be well?

But our answer is not yes. Our answer is:

No one is here for me.

I’m waiting for “something” to happen.

I’m trying but others get in my way.

Why can’t we just say yes?

Honey, he sees you. He knows you need healing. He’s heard how long you have been there. He has not passed you by. He has not overlooked you. What you don’t realize is that even though he has asked if you want to be well, and you gave him excuses, he has healed you already.

The man never asks Jesus to heal him. Jesus never tells him he is healed. He just is! He gets up and at that moment he is cured.
You no longer have to wait for others. You no longer have to hold on to some hope of waters stirring.

What is your answer?

DO you want to be well?

What bothers you?

I hate it when I feel like my kids are beginning to cringe every time I call their name; when I can tell they are thinking, “what have I done now?” I feel so guilty about the fact that I have been noticing all of the negative stuff and have made a point to call them out on it.  I can’t seem to notice all of the good, much less take the time to praise them for it. This week I have really been trying to minimize any negative that I may notice and go out of my way to look for as much positive as I can find. I want my kids to love to hear their names and know that I find great joy in being their mother. Shocking what I have discovered, they really are great kids!

Anyway, in an attempt to adopt the motto “if you don’t have anything good to say don’t say anything at all” to my kids, my hormonal wrath has been in need of some sort of outlet. I have been channeling therefore, all of my frustration away from my children and have directed it straight toward the world at large. I am a pretty easygoing gal that doesn’t get too revved up about much at all; but there are a few things that get under my skin. I thought it would be fun to share them with you, just because.

Here are my top 10 pet peeves. If none apply to you then when I call out your name you will know that you have done nothing wrong, no need to cringe, and all is good between the two of us.

• Skinny Jeans should only be worn by skinny people, preferably young, skinny people.

• I hate dull knives. Sharpen them if you want me to cut something.

• Unless my child or you are in imminent danger DO NOT tell him what he can and cannot do at the grocery store, park, restaurant, or wherever. You may watch and have as many judgmental thoughts as you wish. You may silently thank God or your lucky stars that he is not your child. But woman, I am standing right here! Back off! (this really no longer applies to me really, but it still annoys me and it annoys me for all of the mothers of young children of the world)

• Don’t wear your PJ’s and slippers to Wal-Mart. No make-up is acceptable (right?), but for heaven’s sake, put on some clothes!

• Don’t ask me to make something and then tell me how to make it, unless of course I ask you to. Do you trust me or not? If not, then don’t bother asking me.

• If you walk out of a restroom without washing your hands you can’t possibly expect me to not have judgmental thoughts about you. Eeeeeww

• Unless we are in a very loud place DO NOT eat an apple in front of me. DO NOT chew on ice. Just don’t.

• What is the deal with the word “literally”? I believe the word you are looking for is figuratively. No, you did not just “literally” jump out of your skin or pull your hair out. Your heart did not just “literally” break in two, if it would have you would be dead. You are not “literally” starving or freezing to death. Don’t tell me you literally just ran two miles. I would believe you even without that added, unnecessary, abused word.

• If you are not going to sit on the toilet to pee in the public restroom please grab a little piece of tissue and lift up the seat. If you expect your husbands and sons to do so at home then surely you can extend the same courtesy to people like me who know that you can’t possibly catch a disease by sharing a little bit of thigh space. SIT or LIFT up the seat.  Simple.

Don’t even get me started. I actually wrote on the topic a couple of years ago. Please read further HERE. I may have to write a book about it some day. Oh, it makes me so mad….

Have a blessed day. Tell your kids how great they are, and tell your friend that those skinny jeans are just called Skinny Jeans, they don’t actually make her look skinny.

on being under the influence

You have heard (or perhaps even experienced) that when you are under the influence of alcohol you lose all inhibitions. Well, it is my contention today that when you are under the influence of PMS you lose all concept of reality. Furthermore, you also lose the ability to exercise moderation in any area of your life.

During PMS you are always extra fat and extra ugly, and everyone else is extra fat and extra ugly. Except for your thin friends, of course, they are suddenly extra thin and more gorgeous than ever. You become a monster and everyone else around you becomes a monster too, especially your children. You husband suddenly becomes insatiably horny and won’t keep his hands off of you, which under any other circumstance would be flattering, but now is just plain annoying. Your friends are mean, and your in-laws can do nothing right. You eat all the time, and when you are not eating you are crying or, at the very least, whining and complaining about something. What is there not to cry about? Everyone is a monster and you are fat.

Life is exasperating. 

You age 10 years. You get 10 new wrinkles, 10 new zits and 10 new ponds (in each breast!). It is 10 times hotter and everything takes 10 times longer to do; everywhere you go is 10 times further. You have told your kids what to do 10 times and your husband, well, he’s… disappeared by now.

When you reach 40 take all of the above and make it 10 times worse.

My clothes are tighter, my car is slower, I forget everything, I'm having a real bad hair day, and everything is so darn complicated. The dog won’t stop barking.

Hello, my name is Susan and I am under the influence.

I’m exasperated, I’m old and I have a hard time moving forward. I was on the computer for hours today trying to improve my blogging savvy-ness and learned nothing. I haven’t taken a shower and my head is hurting. I never made it to the gym, and I have at least 5 half written blog posts to finish, three more in my mind that I haven’t even started. I can’t remember the clever sub title that I was going to add to this post, but, even if I could, I wouldn’t know how to add a subtitle anyway, because I learned nothing today. Remember?

I have clean clothes spread on my bed, waiting to be folded and put up. I will at some point in time throw them all back on the floor so that I can go to bed. There is hair all over the bathroom floor, books all over my desk, soap all over the bathroom sink, and the only reason I swept the kitchen today is because my monstrous clumsy son broke a glass. I also have no food on the table, only chocolate in my belly. Who cares about anyone else anyway? They are monsters.

Don’t worry, after the hangover I’ll be the happiest woman on earth, married to the sexiest man alive, enjoying the most awesome kids ever, and admiring best in-laws that ever existed. I will feel beautiful and alive. I will run 4 miles, eat lots of fruits and veggies, and cook healthy meals for my family. I will smile, not yell; I will laugh and not cry. I will fold the clothes, clean the house and take a shower. I will wear makeup, put on my cutest outfit, and wear my wedges without falling over.

Until then I think I will go pour me a glass of wine, find me an uncluttered spot in the house and read a non-thought provoking book.

Cheers to all women. Cheers to PMS and being under the influence!

Deviled Chicken

I'm not so sure what's devilish about this chicken, but I am making it tonight in memory of the devil himself (this is not an honor) because I was under severe spiritual warfare yesterday. I'm not kidding. I don't take this stuff lightly at all, and I'm not the type that thinks the boogie man is out to get me all of the time, but the more I think about that day, the more I'm convinced that spiritual warfare is what was really taking place. I will spare you the details about it, but, suffice it to say that I ended up flat on my back with the headache from hell. I was practically paralyzed with pain for the better part of the evening. I hate to call these headaches migraines because I really don't want to insult those who have them. I did not see lights, I did not throw up, and I was not sensitive to light or noise. I just couldn't function.

I called Mike on my way to dropping Isaac off at soccer practice (yay, soccer is back, and no, that was not a sarcastic remark) and told him that the thought of having to get back in the car to pick him up from soccer was more than I could take. He graciously served me by leaving work early so that he could do for me the only thing that absolutely HAD to get done that evening. He picked up Isaac and then took him and Elijah to McAllisters for dinner and by the time they got home with a warm bowl of potato soup for me, I felt well enough to make it downstairs and eat my dinner. He also had to wash a load of clothes because he had no clean socks, and Isaac had no clean underwear or jeans. Lord bless this man that works his butt off all day and comes home to serve his wife that feels very inadequate for not having dinner on the table and clean clothes on demand.

Anyway, back to the devil. I had planned on making this last night, but since I was slightly incapacitated, it has been re-scheduled for tonight.

Ironic, don't you think, because of yesterday's events? Deviled Chicken.
In your face, jerk!!! I've got the mightiest warrior fighting for me, so, bring it on... wheasel.

In order to feel redeemed by my husband (not that I should, but it just makes me happy to do so) I will be making this great meal. It's super simple, and very easy. (he likes it too)

Deviled Chicken

3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Italian bread crumbs

½ cup (or more, hiccup) of white wine

1 Tbsp. honey mustard

1 Tbsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice

a small jar of whole mushrooms

Coat Chicken with bread crumbs.

Today I used chicken tenders because that is what I have in my fridge begging, to be bagged and frozen before it goes bad, or eaten.

Brown in skillet heated with olive oil for only 3-4 of minutes max per side. Have the oil hot so they will brown quickly.

Add wine, cover and simmer for 15 minutes.

Remove chicken and add honey mustard, lemon juice, and mushrooms to pan. (I forgot to get the mushrooms and I'm to lazy to go buy them, hence the conspicuous absence of the mushrooms.)

Stir till heated. Add chicken back into the sauce, and done!
Add salt and pepper to taste.
  

If you want to make the fabulous looking potatoes that are accompanying the chicken, hop on over to Pioneer Woman, and she will tell you how without skipping a beat. I threw in some olive oil coated peas also. They get a little hard and chew-y. But I loved them. 

Rules

There is only one rule

Pray before you eat. And remember that the enemy of our souls is dead set on stopping us from allowing the Spirit of the Living God to work through us to bless this lost and tormented world. 

Spiritual warfare is going on. Now.
Please remember that this is the God that parted the red sea, tore down the walls of Jericho, defeated the Medanites with 300 men and jars of clay. His fire consumed the wood, the stones of the altar, the soil, and licked the water that filled the trench that had surrounded said altar at the showdown in Mt. Carmel.  This is the God who forgave David, blessed Solomon, and sent Isaiah. He calmed the storm, healed the sick, he fed the 5000, transformed lives and raised them from the dead. HE rose from the dead. Remember that in Ephesians 1 He tells us we have that same power through Christ. You do, I do.

That is what I want you to remember as you eat this chicken, and all of the days to come.

Just so you know. I wrote this on Wednesday. The headache from hell was on Fat Tuesday. Oh, if you only knew the irony in that! (and, no, I didn't have a hangover). Someday... I may tell you my story.

The Mermaid is naked!

My beloved husband just had a birthday. In order to protect his identity and his pride innocence I feel obligated to withhold his actual age.

Neither Mike or I am very good about giving gifts. If we want something, we just buy it. We buy our own toys, we pretty much don't trust each other with our very specific, picky tastes. This is how it usually goes:

 Text from me to Mike: I just finally found an amazing dutch oven that I have been wanting for years, and it's less than half the price of any other I have seen it! Wouldn't you love to get it for me for Christmas?

Answer from Mike: Buy it!

Mike does the same thing, he will either get something himself, or hand me over a flyer or web link so I can  get exactly what he specifically wants. This birthday was no different. I got him the leather wallet and leather book cover that he instructed me to get. The only thing I chose was the color. Thank goodness he like it! He was happy as can be and I was a proud wife.

Years (and years) ago Mike came upon some hideous little mermaid brass hook. Neither one of us even remembers where she came from, but I'm quite certain she surfaced some time during the 1990s.  There is no other way I could explain my disdain for her. I hated that mermaid. We would have fights over her. He wanted to hang her, but I refused to fold to the pressure to display of that THING! Are you kidding me? She is UGLY! And CHEESY! This is my castle and she will not be displayed anywhere where I can see her. Take her to your office, hang her there (by the neck!)

Poor girl. Here she is tucked away in his drawer. He refuses to let go of her.

Through the years she has become such a classic token of our difference in taste. (Please remember that this is the same guy that wears suspenders and safety glasses. Thank goodness I have at least trained him to not go out in public looking like that.)

So the other day, my good neighbor friend and I decided to go to our local flea market. In the back of my mind I could remember that the last time we had gone I had seen some interesting mermaids, and thought perhaps it would be a fantastic joke of a gift to get him. However, for some reason I had talked myself out of buying him one. This time, however, this enchantress - she beckoned me, and like a true mermaid does she sang to me, and bewitched me. I couldn't resist. Suddenly she was beautiful and alluring...oh my, she is naked! So, of course I knew; HE HAS TO HAVE HER.

As soon as I got home I ran her to Mike's desk to display her in all of her glory so he could see her as soon as he got home.

A mermaid never lets you down. He came home, kissed me and went straight to his man cave office - like he always does, so predictable, my man. I yelled Happy Birthday! and he responded. Oh! Oh! She's beautiful! I Love her!

Yes my friend, and that was one of my proudest moments. I was more proud of myself than the year I bought him a Saga Genesis, more than when I got him his cappuccino machine, or his wicked warm slippers, or his $60 bottle of Tequila. Yes dear, THIS is the zenith, the grand apex and culmination of all gift-giving events. This is the gift that trumps them all.
When people came over last night to eat my glorious lasagna to celebrate his birthday I kept feeling so compelled to tell everyone that I had given my husband a naked woman for his birthday.

Mercy.
I need therapy.

 

 

To make it a good story lets just say that I didn't get her to sing to him and lure him to jump ship. I got her to celebrate the vast differences between the two of us. The differences that we have learned to appreciate, negotiate and work with for 20 years. The differences that help me appreciate every day the mystery and the miracle of marriage. She is to remind him that in spite of all of his crazy ways I just can't help but love him more and more every day.

Happy Birthday my dear! And by the way, she is made out of cast iron; and no, you can't strip her, she is naked already!

Things I love about TEXAS

In no particular order:


1. Sidewalks

 

They are EVERYWHERE!!

2. Children can walk and ride bikes to school.
3. Crossing guards are actually super busy at work.

4. frontage roads

 

These are basically roads that run parallel to the interstate, but I will not bore you with the ins and outs of the faboulousness of these roads, just trust me. They rock!

5. Wine at the GROCERY store! Hellooo!!
I need milk, bread, cheese, chicken, and hmm, I think I will grab a bottle of wine while I am here. For a Tennessee girl, that is AWESOME!

6. The sunrise. It takes my breath away.

7. Storms. You have never been in a real storm until you have been in a TEXAS storm. It is wild, and like a light show, or a disco with a strobe light, and scary.

8. My husband's Family.

9. Sunday. Church together. Worship together.
10. Sunday. Lunch. Together.
11. Monday. Football. Together.
12. Mid Week. Dinner, or spontaneous ice cream. Together.
13. Saturday. Soccer. Together.

14. Weather is still in the 70s and 80s.

OH YEA!!!! TEXAS is awesome!

Chasing Rabbits

I am a rabbit chaser. I'm thinking that this is one of the main reasons that I am so bad about posting. I actually love to write, well, actually I love to vent and writing is a great way to vent. When I speak with people I actually try real hard to not chase rabbits because I know it can be annoying. Men aren't rabbit chasers,  I'm married to a rabbit hunter. I always have this little Mike in the back of my head that says "get to the point!" I hate it because it is in our nature to do so. Just listen and pay attention the next time you talk to a woman.

I once went to this unbelievably GREAT marriage seminar called "Love and Respect". It is a MUST for any marriage, or better yet, any human being that relates in any way for any amount of time with anyone of the opposite sex. And for men (although I'm pretty sure that no man will ever read this post) it actually is a great seminar too. Have you ever noticed how men in general HATE going to marriage seminars? I have been married 19 years and have NEVER been to one. The only reason Mike and I got to see this one (we didn't even get to "go" to the seminar, we just saw them on DVD) is because he is an elder at our church and the church was buying the DVD set. We were the guinea pigs. He loved it! It is the kind of seminar that doesn't require you to become a woman to be a good husband. Men receive a lot of confirmation in what and who they are and does a wonderful job at pointing out our differences and that it is totally OK to be that way. Oh, I can't chase that rabbit because I can't do the guy justice. You must either buy his book or go running to the pastor of your church and beg him to get this DVD set for your church. He is really funny and is so much more effective in communicating this stuff than just through a book.

It looks like I chased a rabbit, but really I didn't. Mr. Eggerichs talks about the phenomenon that women have of talking in a circle. We begin a conversation and one thing we say reminds us of something else and we talk about it until it reminds us of something else, and on and on we go until we get back to the place where we began, we always do. We talk in a circle and the conversation will end as we close our circle. Or else we are bothered by it. It happened to me the other day. Someone was telling me about something in their life and it reminded me of something else, which in turn took us somewhere else. We were far, far away from where we began. Normally we would go back, we always do. But time ran out and we both forgot. Until, about an hour later I was thinking about this person and I felt so bad because I realized that she never finished her story! On the same token, it bugs me when I'm talking about something and get off track and I never have a chance to go back and finish my train of thought, or story. I feel cheated. It was incomplete. We love to be complete. We love it when we go full circle, we must. It even happens in reconciliation. Did you know that men and women have totally different styles of reconciliation? I won't get into it, buy  the book and learn about it, it's such important information.

Anyway, because I am not a "writer" and because I can't spent hours and hours writing drafts and correcting and editing I will have to be true to who I am from now on. I will have to feel the freedom to chase the rabbits, you will have to indulge me and enjoy it as you would in a conversation and that way I may be able to actually post a little more often.

I actually think about stuff all of the time and I lay in bed wanting to write it all out, but I chicken out. Maybe when my boys are grown and I don't have to work, or feel the need to overachieve in other areas of my life, then I could learn how to write well and let everybody know what I really think in a grown up and orderly manner.

Come along for the ride and see how many rabbits I can find in one swoop.
Or maybe not. Maybe it's just another excuse because the truth is, I am just too scared

Not Happy till May 1st

Anybody that knows me knows how much I HATE winter and cold weather. I probably am running a great risk in saying this but.. I even hate SNOw. Even though I have always loved Fall, I can hardly enjoy it anymore because it can only mean one thing: Winter is coming. This winter in particular just seemed colder, darker and longer. I have been "over it" since January. So, you can only imagine my joy and delight at the arrival of Spring weather. Oh, just the feeling of painting my toenails and wearing flip flops. A short sleeve shirt and, opening the windows!!!

Yesterday my son had his first soccer game of the season and I got burnt to a crisp (of course it was only one arm, or part of it rather, and half of my neck). Thank goodness that my friend Shay had sunblock and I put some on my flip flopped feet! Why didn't I put any anywhere else? Umm...
Yesterday afternoon I was actually giddy! So much so that I was up till 12:30 a.m. working on lunch for today and some pretty things in between as well of course.



These are my pretty flowers I wore this morning to church with my spring HOT pink short sleeve cardigan.




Here is my pretty banner that I made yesterday. Oh my goodness! Lessons of a newbie crafter: This is time consuming business! And these were just made with scrapbooking paper!



And another. Can't see much of it, but trust me, it is adorable!


Anyway... Even though I consider myself a very positive person, and most people would say I am, I just won't find myself settled in the joys of warm weather till May 1st. many people have heard me say it lately. "I will not be happy till May 1st." The reason why is because April seems to always be such an unpredictable month! I call it the teaser month. We have even had the "S" word  in April which in this part of the country should just be against the law. The law should be that, after the high temperature during the day reaches 80, (which it did this weekend) it should NEVER be colder than 50 during the night or day again.

So, even though I am basking in the warmth of this beautiful spring weather, I will have to brace myself now for what we in East Tennessee call "blackberry winter". Sigh...

But something seems to happen on May 1st. The cold switch just gets turned off, and on we go to the better things in life. Warmth, strawberries, watermelon, peaches, tomatoes, vitamin D and lots of sweat! If only I lived on the coast I could add sand between the toes on my list.

Welcome to SPRING and enjoy the NEW LIFE that God has offered us not just every Spring, not just every May 1st, but every day of our life.
Have a blessed day and a Great Resurrection Sunday!!!!

Potty Talk

Ladies, I'm sorry but this is just one of those things that I just HAVE to say. Please, this is really not vulgar, it is educational and it is a plea from me (and hopefully many other women) to you.

Let me set the record straight. You will not, and CAN NOT get a disease from sitting on a public toilet seat! I have heard this from a Doctor and confirmed it researching the Internet. What in the world is so disgusting about sharing a little thigh space with other women? Trust me, we do way more disgusting things throughout our day, unknowingly and knowingly perhaps.

There is a way you could get infected, I guess. (and I promise that this is as crude as I'm going to get). A nasty woman could come into the bathroom and rub "herself" all over the toilet seat, and then you could come in and rub "yourself" all over the toilet seat. That would be a problem, so, lets avoid that.

I'll tell you what is disgusting. Walking into a restroom and seeing your pee all over the toilet seat. Then, if I have a wipe I will go on to wiping off YOUR pee so that I can comfortably go to the bathroom. I am NOT interested at all in squatting. For three reasons.

 For one, we all know that our stream can be somewhat unpredictable, and no telling what direction it will be going in! I have actually peed on my pants and/or undies thanks to you, my dear squatter.

Reason number two, I have read that if you squat you are not able to empty your bladder completely which, can cause a UTI! Please consider THAT...

And third reason, I'm just lazy. I work out and run to get in shape, squatting anywhere other than at the gym or to pick up a heavy object is just not fair. I'm sorry!

Speaking of disgusting. If you have ever swam in a pool, taken a dip into the Ocean or, eeeeww, a LAKE? then you can share a little thigh space with the rest of us.

Finally, what I think is gross: is to squat, to come into the bathroom after you have squatted and have to wipe your pee off the toilet! So here is my plea! You know, you really don't have to agree with me. That is OK, even though I think I'm right. But do me a favor: If you still insist on squatting, since you aren't enjoying the modern luxury of a toilet seat anyway, please just grab a piece of toilet paper and RAISE the toilet seat UP. That way you can pee on the rim, floor, yourself, wherever and leave the seat clean for me!

I hate getting old!

Yesterday in my attempt to keep up with my New Years Resolutions, I have started running again and have been working on losing weight. Of course when I was young I could lose 5 pounds the first week and 2 every week there after. But now days (sigh) it takes so much more than that! I have lost 6 ponds, but oh! my word. Good thing my motto this year is "Don't ever give up." Next year I will weigh something. It can be the same as now or it can be 30 pounds less. The year will still go on. I ran 3.25 miles in like 36 minutes (that, in case you don't know is very pathetic), but I gave it my all and increased my speed throughout the interval session, and payed for it dearly. My hip was hurting so bad after that I could hardly walk! And today I gave in and took some Advil to be able to walk like a dignified 40 year old woman.

Anyway, another thing that has me worried with age is my skin. I grew up on the coast of Chile (a country that sad enough is now on the map) and living among perpetual dark people makes you take drastic measures. So, I became a sun worshipper. My mom tried to warn me, but when you are a teenager, who listens to their mom anyway? I would lay out in the sun with the rest of my friends and while they tanned I burnt to a crisp, so bad indeed that my eyes would swell and I would look like an alligator for days, waking up in the morning with my bed full of dead skin. (If I had a scanner I would share a picture of my swollen eyes, too bad I don't have one "wink"). I have been wanting to go to the dermatologist for a long time now. And yesterday morning I said to myself "That's it" as I looked in the mirror and in horror saw something I had never seen before.



Do you see that?

I told my husband today my plight. "Mike I really think it's time for me to go get this checked out. What do you think? He smiled and said. "What I think is that you burnt yourself with the curling iron!" As I gasped and laughed at the same time I remembered "Oh yea, (inset blond moment here, or better yet, senile moment) it's all coming back to me now."

Getting old stinks!

The dermatologist will have to wait because a few months ago I lost my glasses and I can't pay for new ones because I'm a shopaholic.

Getting old (and fat) stinks!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Some things are just worth it.

Although I would never pay $120 dollars for a green scarf, there are plenty of things I have payed way more money for than your common bargain shopper would be willing to pay. And as I sat and watched the movie "Confessions of a Shopaholic" last night I found myself identifying with Rebecca way more than I should, I suppose.
I love to shop, I love clothes, I love being able to speak of who I am by the way I dress and "adorn" myself. I love getting a great deal, just like the rest of you. The whole shopping experience is therapeutic, exhilarating and rewarding (if you have the money, of course, but as clearly stated in the movie, it can become more of a burden that the rush is worth). A few weeks ago I took an afternoon to hit the outlets in Pigeon Forge that I am fortunate enough to live close to (one hour away).
I went to my three favorite places. Gap, Old Navy and Eddie Bauer. I desperately needed some pants, therefore that was my mission. Pants, I love! At The Gap I found a pair on Clarence for $5.00! Yes friends As in FIVE. Payed cash (it cost me less than my lunch) and ran over to Old Navy. Old Navy makes pants for me. I would have to say that about 90% of all pairs of pants I have ever owned come from there, they just fit me better that anything. At Old Navy I found 2 pairs not on sale ($30) and a skirt that was $5.00. So I feel I can justify buying the ones not on sale when I got the others so cheep. That would be $70.00 for three pant and a skirt. Not too bad. At Eddie Bauer I found a shirt, amount will not be disclosed. I am top heavy and finding tops is very hard and stressful. When I find one I love I will pay. Yep That is worth the money.

Yesterday I was feeling T.J.Maxx withdrawals, so I decided to run over there even though I had just worked out and was sweaty and smelly, but it was my only chance before I picked the boys up from school. I found the most awesome deal. There was a banged up (pre-distressed is what I like to call it) 3x3 (FEET, that is) mirror for $11. Yes ladies! As in ELEVEN dollars!! Who can pass that up? Even if it is sitting in my garage and will have to wait to be worked on, and I have no idea where it will go. However, while I was there I also found an adorable shirt. I love butterflies and it just called my name. So the shirt was $24.99. Gulp, at T.J.Maxx? Well, lets just pretend that I got the mirror for $20 dollars, still an amazing deal, so the shirt was only $14.99. I can do that! Deal!









Even though I try to justify some of my purchaces I insist that there are some things just worth it. I tend to shop for what I like, and if I love it I will get it (within reason, at least for me).
Here are a few of my, "it's just worth the extra money" list.

1. Running shoes. I love to run and when you run 10-25 miles a week you need a GOOD pair for shoes. If not I would be paying for it in shin slints, aquiles tendonitis, knee issues and hip issues. So I go to the running store and hand out the big bucks.

2. Running pants. I won't go into the details, but for good reason I am very picky about my pants. Land End can't beat anybody as far as quality and comfort for my needs. $45 well spent, woth every penny.

3. Underware. This has been a more recent discovery. You may have you favorite, but even at $10.00 a pair Victoria's Secret can't be beat. I have tried and tried, but it has cost me more to buy and replace crappy underware than to buy my faveorite VS pair. These last me YEARS. I have just vowed to never buy panties other than the most comfortable and quality Victoria's Secret. LOVE them.

4. Dish detergent. I'm just saying, Cascade is worth the extra few pennies (or dollars).



5. GAP pants. Yes, I must confess I have bought full price pants from The Gap. They, like Old Navy pants are made to fit me. And the few that I have splurged on, I must say, again, worth every penny.

Please feel free to add to my list. It may be enlightening.
You may even dissagree with me, and that is OK. I understand that to some people other things are worth their time and money. And well, I guess that is a whole other subject I could address in the future. For now, if you are like me, you can find a friend that will help you in your justifications and would be happy to go shopping with you some day.

Love The New Hair!

The real deal

I am the poster child for yo yo dieting. Last year I managed to lose 35 lbs. At the age of 39 a much longer feat than it was in my 20s. Because of that I thought for sure I would keep it off this time. I had become an avid (obsessive) runner. As a matter of fact, a year ago next week I ran my first 1/2 Marathon. I wasn't a great runner, but for me it was a major accomplishment to put under my belt. To make a very long story short, I did, as usual, gain almost all my weight back.

Remember the picture I posted a few posts ago and said I would get back to it? Well, today is the day I must fess up. That picture of me in the green shirt is one of my favorite pictures of myself. I took it myself in the kitchen to use for my FB profile. Now my FB and Blog profile are the same; 30 lbs. ago after getting home from the hair dresser and getting pretty highlights.

After writing about beauty and vanity a few weeks ago, I was so convicted that I must share the real deal with you. Another self portrait, taken today, a regular day, not so good hair day, 30 lbs. later.



The real deal.

But in true tradition, as the new year approaches, I will hopefully be posting a new updated picture of myself who knows, maybe in my sweats again crossing some finish line.

On the Lighter side. My Wal Mart pet peeves

Just to wrap up my day I decided to take it light. Wal Mart. I spend way too much time and money in that place, I know it by heart, but it drives me crazy when they move things. For some strange reason my Wal Mart people like to mess with me and re- arrange the bread isle all the time. What is up with that? I always know where my usual stuff is, except for my bagels. I buy Thomas plain and blueberry bagels. The blueberry must go fast, so when they have them I buy two or three to freeze. They used to have them at the back of the store, then they moved them up with the bread, then they had them in both places, so I had to check both. Now they are just with the bread, but you still never know where. People quit messing with me!!!

My real pet peeves however are these. First of all, why do people walk in the middle of the car isles? Seriously, I just want to yell out my window. "You don't have a licence plate on you behind! so MOVE OVER!!!" Be nice to me and walk as close to the parked cars as possible, otherwise you are being rude.
Second, I do believe that this is an East Tennessee thing, but for crying out loud folks, take off your jammies and slippers and put on some clothes when you go shopping! I'll be the first to admit that I go to the store not having taken a shower all the time. But at least I throw on a pair of jeans (or whatever I was wearing the day before) a cap and even some jewelry and a little lipstick. I feel necked without my lipstick, so even right out of bed and with a cap on I will have my lipstick on! I will understand if you don't want to do the lipstick thing, but PLEASE take off the PJ's!! (and slippers)