Monday, March 29, 2010

Potty Talk

Ladies, I'm sorry but this is just one of those things that I just HAVE to say. Please, this is really not vulgar, it is educational and it is a plea from me (and hopefully many other women) to you.

Let me set the record straight. You will not, and CAN NOT get a disease from sitting on a public toilet seat! I have heard this from a Doctor and confirmed it researching the Internet. What in the world is so disgusting about sharing a little thigh space with other women? Trust me, we do way more disgusting things throughout our day, unknowingly and knowingly perhaps.

There is a way you could get infected, I guess. (and I promise that this is as crude as I'm going to get). A nasty woman could come into the bathroom and rub "herself" all over the toilet seat, and then you could come in and rub "yourself" all over the toilet seat. That would be a problem, so, lets avoid that.

I'll tell you what is disgusting. Walking into a restroom and seeing your pee all over the toilet seat. Then, if I have a wipe I will go on to wiping off YOUR pee so that I can comfortably go to the bathroom. I am NOT interested at all in squatting. For three reasons.

 For one, we all know that our stream can be somewhat unpredictable, and no telling what direction it will be going in! I have actually peed on my pants and/or undies thanks to you, my dear squatter.

Reason number two, I have read that if you squat you are not able to empty your bladder completely which, can cause a UTI! Please consider THAT...

And third reason, I'm just lazy. I work out and run to get in shape, squatting anywhere other than at the gym or to pick up a heavy object is just not fair. I'm sorry!

Speaking of disgusting. If you have ever swam in a pool, taken a dip into the Ocean or, eeeeww, a LAKE? then you can share a little thigh space with the rest of us.

Finally, what I think is gross: is to squat, to come into the bathroom after you have squatted and have to wipe your pee off the toilet! So here is my plea! You know, you really don't have to agree with me. That is OK, even though I think I'm right. But do me a favor: If you still insist on squatting, since you aren't enjoying the modern luxury of a toilet seat anyway, please just grab a piece of toilet paper and RAISE the toilet seat UP. That way you can pee on the rim, floor, yourself, wherever and leave the seat clean for me!


  1. Great suggestion. You had me laughing so much that I might need to potty. And, yes, I will sit down. hehehe

  2. my mom always made me make a toilet paper cover over the seat and then sit down. then at least those women who insist on not sitting directly on the seat still have an option besides squatting!!