Friday, March 28, 2014

What I learned in March

Please come join me and other fun bloggers at Chatting at the sky as we share What we learned in March. Last time I posted on this linky was way back in September and I'm so happy to finally be back! This is fun.
But first I have a confession to make. Numbers 2, 3, and 4, I think actually happened in February. Number 1 is just a fun fact, nothing I actually learned. And 5 has just been roaming around in my mind this month, 'cause that's just the kind of thing this idle mind thinks about. I couldn’t resist adding it for my own amusement. If you know my father-in-law you will laugh. If you don't, you will wish you did!

1.     It may be time to learn the cryptic language of my 13 year old son. I am not well versed in the art of reading between the lines, much less so of reading between the lines in Elijah’s mind. Every time he tries to communicate with me I cock my head like a curious puppy, wishing I looked as cute as one, and say: “I have no idea what you are talking about. Speak to me in English and pretend I’m 2.” He then proceeds to add hand motions. As if that would help. I often wonder which one of us is more amused by the other.
2.      When your 15 year old son gets his motorcycle license you are rewarded supersonic ears. I can now hear, at any given time, every motorcycle within at least a ½ mile radius of me. Even when he’s home. What a consolation. NOT!

3.      Dry white wine is divine! I’m a red wine snob. But when I read a fantastic looking recipe that called for dry white wine (and the recipe specifically warned that sweet wine would simply not do!) I ran to the store and reluctantly bought some Sauvignon Blanc. So there I was cooking in my kitchen with a bottle of dry white wine, minus 1 cup. What is a girl to do with an open bottle of wine while waiting for a delicious meal to come together? Hmmm. Oh My Gosh!! This is when you decide that EVERYTHING is worth trying at least once in your life. Or twice. I once tried some Pinot Grigio and hated it. From that day forward I swore I hated all dry white wine. Never do that. There are actually Pinot Noir wines that have not liked either. What if I would have dismissed Pinot Noir based on that experience? I just can’t go there.

4.      Just when you think you have heard every crazy childhood story from your husband’s childhood that there was to be told… Another one turns up.
      Evidently Mike's dad took him and his brother on a trip to Costa Rica. While there, they decided to go to a bull fight. As it turns out, the bullfighter was staying in the same hotel as they were, and as they were leaving to go to the bullfight they ran into him and he told them he didn’t have a ride to the fight. Whaaa? So they gave the bullfighter a ride. All four of them, in a Taxi, to the bullfight. True story, this time I have the corroboration of two witnesses. And after reading #5 you will understand why things like this were not that uncommon.
 5.      XX (Dos Equis) clearly did not do its homework.
My father-in-law is the most interesting man in the world.
And here is why.

o   His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
o   No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard mustache
o   He once taught a german shepherd how to bark in spanish
o   His beard mustache alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body
o   He lives vicariously through himself
o   If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there
o   He’s never lost a game of chance
o   He is the life of parties that he has never attended
o   His wallet is woven out of chupacabra leather
o   His organ donation card also lists his beard  mustache
o   People hang on his every word, even the prepositions
o   His guacamole inspired the term ‘holy guacamole’
o   Only he knows why the mariachi band never stops smiling
o   His pronunciation is impeccable, even under water
o   Even his nod sounds like a plan
o       He has amassed and incredibly large DVD  library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.
o      And, he doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.
I'm telling ya'.
Their loss.
Stay thirsty my friends.