I feel so many times like a little girl. The little girl lined up on the playground wanting so bad to be picked by my favorite girls, so bad to be cool, and wanted, to be on their team. "Pick me, Pick Me, don't you like me?"; I'm the little student with my had way up in the air that wants to stand out and be admired by the teacher because I know the answer. "Pick Me, Pick Me, I'm smart". I am like the little girl that tries out for the cheer leading squad, "Pick Me, Pick Me, I can do it, I can look good, pretty and jump high". As we get older the feeling doesn't go away. "Pick Me, Pick Me", for the scholarship; "Pick Me, Pick Me" for the job; "Pick Me, Pick Me" for the promotion. "Pick Me, Pick Me, I am a good friend".
A few Sundays ago at our church we had a little baby shower for a gal at our church that had just had her 4th baby. We had a very simple pot luck after church. I was part of the group of gals that planned this shower and since it was simple we didn't do a whole lot for it. On Saturday I decided to take it a step further and make it a little more special by being crafty and creative. I made a super cute banner with the baby's name on it. I was bummed though because I forgot my camara. Trust me, it was adorable.
I made a cute diaper cake where I was able to display some of my lovely fabric flowers,
and I made these SUPER CUTE booties cup cakes.
Needless to say, I got lots of oooohs and ahhhhs. Honestly it was a LOT of work. It took my entire Saturday to get all of these things prepared to make this shower special for my friend. I had a blast doing it though. I felt so creative and lovely and special myself.
When I got back home Sunday afternoon, my husband asked me how it went, and then asked me something very curious. He said: "Did you win?" I said: "Win what? What are you talking about?" Then it hit me.
Is that what we are all about? Are we just in this big competition of life? Is it truly the game of life in which we continually are begging: "Pick Me, Pick Me"
Can you picture Moses going about his business praying to God, "Pick me, pick me"? Gideon never begged God to pick him, as a matter of fact, he was one excuse after the other. And who can forget poor Jonah who ran in the opposite direction when God picked him. He ended up in the belly of a giant fish!
These men were picked for a grand job, one that I would have hesitated about as well. These were jobs that were hard, risky and dangerous, to say the least.
So fast forward thousands of years and I find myself sitting at the table with my girlfriends and Jesus. In our hearts we feel the same words that James and John were saying in Mark 10: "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory." Do you hear that? "Pick me, pick me". We run ourselves silly trying to obtain a "place" with our friends, and even with God, but heaven forbid us to be asked to do the "hard thing", THEN we choose to answer, oh, I can't because I studder (as Moses did) or we say we are the least of our family (as Gideon did) or we simply run to the nearest port (really, the farthest).
Oh, we are so silly!! But honestly I really don't know where I'm going with this post. But I'm going to post it anyway.
For one, my insecurities have kept me from posting it for weeks, and I just know that I will not be picked. This is something that each of us has to face. Why is it that we do the things we do? And if we don't get "picked", would we have done them anyway?
The other reason is because what my husband asked me hit a nerve. I didn't like that he aked me this because it was a truth that we just don't want to face. I ask myself all of the time. What are my motives anyway? Lets just face it!
So there you go.
A few weeks ago made some fabric leaves that are just so adorable! I'm dying to take a picture and post them. Yet, I'm going to refrain. I will just continue to smile and find great satisfaction each time I pass by them. Even though no one will get to "pick" them. I will enjoy the thought of having to figure out how to make them and having to pick out matching fabrics to make them SOOOO look good. I will love the thought that I was creative and I made something beautiful. Just because.
"Pick me, pick me" we still yell.
Perhaps I should start yelling "I pick you, I pick you".